Sometimes it sucks to be a Black Woman (Yes I said it !)

Don’t get me wrong, I am still VERY proud to be a black woman. but sometimes I wish it will be easier, I know things are changing but it’s not always easy to have the opportunities.

I know you will tell me that I am a drama queen, but I am not trying to be melodramatic, but when you want to do business in a generally white men industry it sucks to be a black woman.Worst again if you are a french Canadian black woman. I feel that it will be easy to sell my show if I was a white middle age man.We usually trust what we know, so to gain the trust of the people, I want to partner with,I need to be able to fly ( metaphorically for sure). When I to book a meeting with them they are suspicious …”Who is this black woman you want to meet us …and she is French?? …No way  ??!…I am not sure if I want to meet her ” You get the point .Even when I get the meeting with them ,they are suspicious . Yes , Yes…it’s the same for everybody in this cut through industry either you are a man or a woman you will suffer !  But when I hear the stories from my white male friends who are trying to sell shows with less following and preparation than me, I feel bummed, I realized I wish I had a white d… And yes there might be some paranoia involve, you will argue, but remember I am blogging about my life  and how I feel about it.Maybe next year I will write ” It is amazing to be a black woman ” but for now…it sucks big time .

PLEASE understand I am not saying that the gatekeepers of the entertainment industry are racist ( NO NO and NO ) it’s not racism it’s  more that people are afraid of what they don’t know and I am very different of what they are used to.

Here’s the problem; ( and before you send me all the quotes in the world I am not going to give up on my dreams) I LOVE acting and I will do it until I am too old to remember my lines … But I want to write,produce and direct and since I created 13 Witches ( 13 witches web series on Youtube), I have this super crazy dream ; I want to be a showrunner ! Yes ,I know it’s crazy …but why not ? …I have the scripts …I produced few things…I have the social media following …So again why not ? Shonda Rhimes did it !

I know, I need to shadow a showrunner ( which I will love to !!! ) but I still need to work to be able to survive in this capitalist world. So How can I shadow a showrunner without paying my rent …I am not sure 🙂 Unless an Angel gives me a grant ( my PayPal is sabinemondestin@yahoo.ca just in case your heart feel generous 🙂 )  …So I stick to producing whatever I can ,sending emails,calling the people who might be able to collaborate with me in a win-win relationship…Requesting lots of meeting, Going to the AFM ( American Film Market) ,Going to all the TIFF ( Toronto International Film Festival) classes/event …I know it takes time but I am becoming more and more impatient.

Another problem of being a black woman and being a woman is the cliche that comes with it.As a black woman I try to be even nicer than a white woman when I talk about business I don’t want them to think ” Here’s the sassy black woman doing business with us …we can’t trust her…”  I am not even sure if I am doing the right thing …Maybe they are thinking she is  too nice to run a show …I don’t know anymore 🙁  ( Help me if you can I am feeling dooownn  remember The Beatles song)

Sometimes There are the boxes within the boxes …When I say “I write scripts”  people will assume that I will write stuff you will see on the OWN channel or a beautiful historic script about slavery … You know what I mean inspiring Black stories … Although,I really love to watch them …I am not good at writing these kinds of stories… I loved The Help ,Glory,The Butler or 13 Years a Slave  we need to write those stories !! I like to write Horror,Fantaisie,Scifi,and recently comedy. And Yes since English is not my first language I have few editors for my scripts don’t judge my writing by this blog post 🙂 and If I get inspired to write a black story I will be more than happy to do it .I am a big fan of the comic book ( check my other posts ) so I am inspired by these kinds of story.

I am a big fan of the comic book ( check my other posts ) so I am inspired by these kinds of story Marvel  and DC will love me and they wanted to give me the opportunity .

Few funny ( or maybe not so funny things ) I experienced as a black actor

-A casting director told me ” You are not black enough ” I ask her what she meant she had no response for me …

– My ex-agent told me that without an afro I will not book anything ( Canadian Mentality specially from Vancouver) …well I don’t see Kerry Washington, Zoe Saldana,Gabrielle Union,Halle Berry,Nia Long,Angela Bassett,Keke Palmer walking around with an afro but they get work all the time.

I was thinking to create a funny web series on being a black actress in Vancouver …

One of my lovely haters sent me a link to few video made by black men called ” I hate Black woman” Google it …Not fun to watch…Seriously …Even black men hate us ? Trust me I had a very unpleasant event happened  on set when a black man was treating me differently because I was black while he treating the other women nicely.

OK so enough bitching about being a black woman since things are changing .More and more we see efforts to include diversity in front and behind the scene and I am not talking only about black women …Shows like Fresh from the boat ,Masters of None,Black-Ish,Scandal,How to get away with murder ,The Mindy Project ,are helping the world to see immigrants under a new light .

Yes some of us are nerds ,some black people ( like me)  like shrimps more than chicken,Some of us are different than the cliches shows from 80’s and 90’s .

But my question stays the same …How to break the barrier of being a WOMAN and BLACK and play in the white male club ? I still don’t know …How do I talk ? How do I dress ? Are they going to be sexist or afraid of what they don’t know ?

All those questions are playing in my head before I fall asleep…until I have my answer Good Night my lovely readers and Kiss Kiss My Darlings kiss

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4 Comments:

  1. Hello Sabine,
    What a wonderful statement. I have much empathy but could never say that I relate. Would the best way to move forward is continue being you? That is after all, what is most unique. Yes, you are a black woman but first you are Sabine. And that deserves most of your priority.

  2. Wow, that was incredible yet insightfully real.
    Thank you
    Best Regards,
    Vincent Flores

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